Christmas time!

So Christmas is almost here (less than a week), and I'm excited. I love this time of year. From about the beginning of November to the end of December is in my opinion the most wonderful time of the year. I love the spirit of giving and overall friendliness that most people have. I love the snow, and the clean beautiful feeling it gives to the world around me. I love being with family and just relaxing (well I don't know if that will happen this year), but normally I love it. I am a little stressed this year with trying to move out and not having anywhere to go for a couple of days before my new apartment opens up, but I'm still super excited for it. I also love that it bring about a new year. I love the idea that I can once again make some new resolutions for a whole new year. I love seeing people happy and looking like there just may be hope for them yet. Basically, I love it. That's all.

My job

So I'm now more than half way through my third week of work, and I finally have a desk!! It's my very own. And it's pretty big. I have my own computer and my own email and my own cubicle. Now you may not thinking me getting a cubicle is exciting, but actually it is very exciting. For two weeks straight I didn't have anywhere to put my stuff. I just floated. But not anymore, I've taken over my job and I have a desk. I have some sense of why I'm there and what I'm doing. This is great news for me. I've got a lot of responsibility but I am so excited. I'm excited to be working again. To have something to do, to feel like I'm actually doing something again. To make money again. It's going to be fantastic.

A job...at last!!!!

It happened folks. It's about time, and it happened. After two and a half long months of application filling out, resume turning in and interviews I got a job. Yay! Now if you know me at all, and have talked to me in the past three months you know how much of a stress this has been for me. And today after I found out, this immediate feeling of relief washed over me. I haven't felt like that is some time. Life has been so crazy, I mean when it rains, it pours, and finally something good seems to be working out for me. Now I hope other aspects of my life follow. That would make me oh so happy. I guess as usual, only time will tell. So I'll be working at Seven Peaks as an Office Manager, it seems like it's going to be an awesome job. I'm really really excited about it. That's all I've got for now. I'll update again soon.

Wishin' and Waitin'

There seem to be a lot of things in life that people are wishing and waiting for. And I realize that I am no different than everyone else. I too am constantly wishing and waiting for things in my life. Sometimes I sit around waiting and things just don't happen like that. Effort needs to be put in. Life just doesn't give you what you want. You don't just get the things that you wish for. Life isn't that easy. The good things in life need to be worked for. And I've recently discovered that that is something I need to do a little more of. Really work for the things that I want. I've had this, things will happen if they are going to happen attitude recently, and I need to change that. And do everything that I can to make my wishes come to reality. That's my thought for the night. Now I'm off to bed.

Still no job

Everyday I wake up and I sit at my computer and job search. And yet still nothing has come of my hours and hours of job searching. I'm still looking and still hoping. That's all.

Update

So it has been way too long since my last blog so here is a quick update on life. I moved into a different apartment complex for the first time in three years, and I love it. Not only are my roommates 3 of the most amazing people in the world, but there is also a washer and dryer in my apartment. Wow what a difference that makes. A couple of weeks ago I got together with my friends from home and we had a memory night, mostly meaning that we did something that we always did in high school. After a fantastic dinner at IHOP, we went to the good old Spanish 8 theater and watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. And it was fantastic. At least I really enjoyed it.
I also graduated in a sense. I walked in August, and am now taking my final class. So I will officially have my BS in December.
I'm currently unemployed after working for 3 years on campus. They kick you out once you graduate. And am actively looking for a job. I'm still waiting to hear back on a couple of interviews...I hope that happens the beginning of this next week, because I am going crazy beyond all means not having anything to do during the day.
Well that's my life in a nutshell. I'm going to be better about writing on here. A couple times a week hopefully I've got lots that I've wanted to blog about for some time and just haven't done it. So I am making a commitment to myself to get it done.

My Weekend

So after a good trip to Georgia and a lot of lost sleep and stress I had the opportunity to go camping with some great friends.   We went up to my friend Carie's special camping spot that she has been going to with her family for many a year.  We were on the very top of this moun'ain, and yes it is moun'ain and not mountain, why?  Because I'm from Utah, so I have to say things like Utahans.  We went up Friday after work, set up the massive Merrill Hotel tent, and then went to check out Carie's favorite spot.  (We go to see all her favorites, it was really neat.) It was absolutely gorgeous, we were really on the top of the world.  We could see everything, it was a very humbling experience.  

We went back and started up a fire and made some pig biscuits.  Now if you are wondering what pig biscuits are, you probably know them as pigs in a blanket, there is a long story behind that.  We sat around the fire for over an hour cooking these things, and it was so much fun.  While Lisa was tending to the fire and breaking wood with her foot, she flipped a piece of wood into the fire right on top of Melanie's food.  And Mel just sat there.  It was hilarious.  Probably one of those had to be there moments.  Mel said that she would have rather had the wood hit her than her food.  Anyway, we then had smores, and a strange banana boat thing.   All in all a good around the fire time, we then sang some songs to the guitar and just chilled.   Bed time came, however not for me, I haven't been sleeping well and this was no change.  Carie and I stayed up partially waiting to hear from her dad and brother and partially because we just couldn't sleep.  

 It was a beautiful night, the stars were gorgeous and we had a really good talk about life and such.  At about 3, Mel came coughing out of the tent and after a few minutes came and sat with us and talked with us the rest of the night.   Carie and Mel tended the fire all night and we got a number of holes in our clothes and blankets.  Mel rolled in the dirt, and well it was good.  We got a little sleep, not much.  But that is okay.  As we watched the stars disappear and the sky grow lighter, Lisa eventually joined us.  Nicole and Meagan got some more sleep, and then joined us for breakfast.   We just kind of chilled for some time  Mel went off somewhere, Meagan, Nicole and Lisa went for a walk, and Carie and I played card game(of which she didn't actually tell me all the rules, so although I should have won, I didn't).

Anyway, Carie's dad and brother let us use their 4-wheelers, and we went out Lisa and me on one, and Mel and Carie on the other.  We had a really good time.  It was actually a big stress reliever for me, not sure why, but it was.  Anyway, after that people took naps, I tried to study, we just chillaxed.  It was well amazing.  

Mostly the whole weekend was just amazing.  And I'm so grateful Carie shared this place with us, and that these other 4 girls came along and we just had a good time.  I'm not gonna lie, I would love to camp every weekend.  That would be fantastic, but since that isn't going to happen, I'll just have to get some people to want to go at least once more this summer.  

Overall, I love the moun'ains, I love the outdoors.  I want to spend the rest of my life outside.   I love it, and suggest that everyone goes out camping at least once this summer.  Just do it.  

Cabbage Patch Hospital

So I've been in Georgia for the past 5 days.  I came out to help my sister pack up and move back to Utah, and we've had some time to do some fun stuff.  One thing that will be engraved in my mind forever, was our two trips to the Cabbage Patch Hospital(also known as Babyland).  The first one was because we wanted to go, the second time was because all our pictures from the first day disappeared, and we needed pictures to share with everyone else.  

This experience was an awesome one.  There were incubators, school children, and even a live birth.  The second time we went we even got to see twins born, Jimmy James Paul and Emily Grace by the mother cabbages under the magic crystal tree.  

Wow, that was amazing.  You all not only need to go there, but you should ask me about it.  We took over a hundred pictures and have a great video of the live birth.  Okay back to packing, but I hadn't posted in a while so I thought I should.

Knowledge vs. GPA

As I am now only 4 credits away from graduation., and after just taking another final. I'm frustrated, and I'm frustrated because of the way our knowledge is measured right now. Your GPA is all that matters. Now how wrong is that. GPA isn't really a measure of how smart you are or what you learned in the class, but it is. This is what frustrates me. Not everyone is the same, not everyone tests the same. Some people have learning disabilities, some people have test anxiety (that's me). So it doesn't matter how well I know the information on the test, I just can't remember it while I'm sitting in the testing center. For instance, today I took a final, I got down to one last question, I read and reread the question and thought I know the answer to this, I put my pencil down on the paper, and nothing came out. So after 15 minutes of sitting there, I gave up and turned my test in. The second I walked out the door, the answer to that question and a few others came rushing into my head. And I'm not sure what I got on the test because the majority of it was short answer, but I know that I should have gotten an A on it. And I probably won't. That makes me frustrated. I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I'm a decently smart person, and my GPA definitely doesn't show that. And that is frustrating.

T-shirt time...

So as I said, here are a few pictures of the amazing team I finally won my shirt with. There are quite a few more on facebook if you want to check them out. But I'm so happy that I got my shirt before I graduated, and that I got to get it with some really cool girls.

Should I get a Mac?

So I'm thinking as a graduation present to myself I want to get a new computer, mostly a mac. And it i get it now, I also get a free ipod touch, and a free printer. And I can get an education discount on the computer. And then get a whole bunch of software at education discount prices because I'm still a student. What do you all think? All in all, it will come out to about $2,000. So maybe if I decide to get one, if people feel like getting me a graduation gift, they can just put in a few dollars? Tell me what you all think...

WE WON!!!!

It finally happened, I won a t-shirt. I am an Intramural Champion. And I will post amazing pictures very soon.

Intramurals

I love sports, and I love intramurals. I've been doing intramurals here for the past four years, and I have yet to win a championship. I've gotten to the final game at least 8 times and gotten close at least 8 other times. This is a very frustrating situation for me. I just want a t-shirt. You wouldn't think it would be that difficult, but for me it really is. In fact, I am in a facebook group called, I'm NOT an Intramural Champion(I'm hoping to leave this group soon). Tonight is just another chance for me, and I think that this time, I might just get the shirt. We would have to lose two games tonight to the same team in order to not get the shirt. Now I know that this seems like a no way can we lose situation, but it has happened to me before, twice to be exact. But we did beat this team last night, so I think that we can do it. And this makes me super nervous.

Who gets nervous for intramurals...me. I may be the only person to get nervous for intramural games, but it's true. I get so nervous. And this is a good and bad thing. It makes the sitting/standing around part really hard, but I think it might make me play better.
For instance last night's game, I finally got a great hit, I've been waiting for the past month to get a good hit, and I did it, and I even ran really well around the bases, but unfortunately only got to third base. I'm gonna blame it on the big sand trap that was around 2nd base. It was a great hit though, and I'm hoping to hit like that again tonight.
A semi-funny story from the game last night, if you are reading this you probably know me enough to know that I love soccer. And instinctly I stop things with my feet all the time. I've noticed recently that I do it while playing ultimate if there is no way for me to catch, I stop it with me foot. Anyway back to the game, during the other team's last ups, we weren't doing so well, there were a lot of walks going on, so we really needed to get an out. I was all nervous, and frustrated and what not, and so as I'm standing my post as second baseman I was ready for some action. The ball is hit to the right of me and low to the ground, so as I go forward to attempt to catch it, I realize that it is going to hit the ground a second before I can get there, so instinctively I stick my foot out to stop it without even thinking. The next thing I know, I feel my foot step on the ball and the ball stopping directly under my foot, as my body continues to go forward. I fall forward, realize that the ball is about 3 feet away from me where my foot stopped it. I jump up, grab the ball and throw it in to the catcher and she tagged the girl and we got an out. Now as exciting as that was, just imagine that happening. It was ridiculous and I got laughed at and congratulated for making such a great stop.
Anyway, that is all I've got for now, hopefully tomorrow I can post pictures of my team with our new t-shirts. Yay for intramurals.

Peaks and Valleys

This is a phrase that I have heard a number of times, mostly by those who have served missions. This last Sunday someone mentioned it and it got me to thinking. Thinking about peaks and valleys in a literal and a figurative way. Peaks and valleys in a figurative sense is a half positive-half negative term. Ya know, how somedays we have awesome days and then there are other days when you just don't want to get out of bed, or you want to just curl up in a hole somewhere. Then let's compare this to the literal peaks and valleys.

I love the outdoors and the peaks and the valleys are absolutely gorgeous. So really I don't see any negative part of the literal peaks and valleys. So why do we use the term peaks and valleys when talking about our emotional state? Because it still makes sense. Peaks are high and valleys are low, so it is a great way to describe it. But still it is contradictive.

But that is really besides the point, mostly I've just been in a time of valleys and peaks, more valleys than peaks right now. So that is my most current goal, I'm trying to have more peaks than valleys. Not as easy as it should be. But I wouldn't mind doing some hiking in some of those literal peaks and valleys.

Once again, I have no idea

So I'm back to almost square one when it comes to what I'm doing after graduation. I have applied for a few jobs, and am still waiting to hear back from almost all of them. I did apply to be a 911 dispatcher, but I couldn't make the testing time, so that one is off of the list for right now. Mostly I just need a full time job with benefits, at this point, I don't even care what it is, I just need to find one so I can find housing. This is my current dilemma, and I'm quite stressed about it. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to give them to me. Argh.

My cool roommates

(Emily, Lisa, Heather, Amy, Melanie, Melissa)
This is a short shout out to my cool roommates this spring. I was thinking how I've had some super crazy roommates over the years, and I am very lucky to have such cool roommates right now. They are all very unique, and I'm glad I get the chance to live with them all...even if they think I'm crazy.

Releasing

I've known and lived with a lot of people over the years, and I've learned that we all have different ways of releasing pent up emotion, feelings, frustrations, whatever. Now this may seem like a random topic, but it all came about last night. After a terribly played on my part, game of softball, I was awfully frustrated, and for those who actually know anything about me, you might know that I am not the most expressive person when it comes to feelings. So since I've been frustrated about many things in the past month or so, this crappy game was the ice breaker. So I went out for a hard run, and felt semi better when I got back. And I brewed over it all day, and still haven't fully expressed my frustration. Then there is my roommate, who also played last night, and didn't have the best game either, she went outside for a little personal reflection, came back inside and was fine afterwards.

Now I know that it is possible that I have a bit more pent up frustrations and what not than her right now, but that is another point. What I'm getting at here is the different ways people release anger, frustration, pain, etc. And when I say people, I am mostly referring to people of the female gender. We as females, tend to express emotion a lot more than our male counterpart, which is normal. Women are more sensitive and whatnot. Anyway, there are so many ways that we release pent up emotions.

I have had friends who just escape from it all, just run away from it, and then ignore it. I've had friends who just need to cry all by themselves for a little while and then they are ok, there are the ones that need to cry on some one's shoulder and need to be validated. There are those as I said before who just don't deal with it, pretend it didn't' happen and store it somewhere inside of them. There are those that need a little time to just think things through and then they are ok. Those who just need to get angry at someone, yell a little than get over it. Those who need to go and get anger out in someway.

Those are just the first few that came to my head, but I really find it interesting how different we all are, and how we express things, and release things in such different ways. The hard part is initially figuring out what that way is for each person, and/or letting others figure out that information about you. Some people, including me, have a hard time letting others really get to know them, but that is another blog in itself, so maybe that will be my next one.

Needing something...

It has been some time since my last post, and as I was finishing up my cleaning check tonight I realized it was time to write again. I'm not exactly sure what to write, but I need to write so we will see what comes out.
The age I'm at gives me a lot of me time, I'm going to school, and working. But I work by myself many days, and I don't have a lot of homework, this has made me realize that although I have some problems and some major stresses in my life, doesn't mean that I need to forget about all the little things that I have.
I at times feel alone, I work by myself, my roommates are all very busy people, my friends are flaky and busy people, and I've never had the type of relationship with my family that I wish that I did (but i'm working on it). But when I really sit down and think about it, I have amazing people all around me. And whenever I really need someone, someone comes through. This is a reoccurring testimony builder for me that my Heavenly Father loves me, and that he knows me and is looking out for me. This is a comforting thought in my many alone hours every day.
I need to work on putting myself out there. I've never been the one to start the party all by myself (if that makes any sense). I sit while others are talking and just listen, I don't put in my two cents, all the thoughts that race through my head. All of the comebacks, or comments that come into my head normally just stay there. I think I need to work on saying what I'm thinking. No matter what the situation. I'm gonna work on that.
Today at work, I had about an hour before I had to TA a class, and I had some work that I needed to do. Therefore, I needed the few stragglers from the class before hand to leave the room. I had already warned them twice that I needed to close the room up, and I had let them stay an extra 20 minutes. And it isn't as if they were working on anything, a few students were in the back of the room talking to one professor, while another professor sat at a computer in the back checking his email. So I finally got the nerve to ask them to leave. This guy sitting at the computer then proceeds to get really upset with me, he said that by not letting people into the instruction rooms at times when they weren't being used for classes was a complete waste, he said that I had no right to kick them out, and a whole heck of a lot more. And he definitely wasn't nice about it. It was one of those situations that makes you feel uncomfortable and just plain sick to your stomach (I'm sure most of you have felt this way at least once). I really didn't know what to do about the situation, and now I was having a terrible day, so I just nicely repeated that I needed to close the room. As he walked out of the room, I heard him say some jerky comment under his breath.
Now this made me think, who is this guy, and why would a professor at BYU get upset with a student employee for them doing their job. This guy was a royal jerk, and I want to thank him publicly for making my day so wonderful. It makes me wonder who his mother is, and why she didn't send him to his room a little more often.
So those thoughts are not at all connected, but most things in my mind aren't. ADD or something, who knows. That is what I'm thinking about tonight though. And yet I'm still needing something...

Roommates over the years

As I was walking home last week after a conversation with a friend about roommates, I decided to count and see just how many roommates I've had since I moved away from home 4 years ago, and that lead me to thinking about things that have had. So that is what this blog is going to be dedicated to in short. So first off, just how many roommates have I had. Freshman year-8, Sophomore year-9, Junior year-11, Senior year-10 Total=38 That is a lot of girls that I have lived with. And for the most part I loved all of them, and had wonderful experiences and gained amazing friends. However, I definitely lived with a few interesting people, and they are who I want to talk about.
Let's start with freshman year, it started out very normal, and I really liked all 5 of my roommates. A few weeks into the semester however, my roommate developed some severe homesickness and it made her a little crazy, and very emotional, that always makes for a very interesting time. She was a very nice person, but she got offended by everything and I am positive that her family thought I was the devil. Anyway, with about two weeks left in my first semester, another one of my roommates, who was way cool up to this point, got in a little tussle with one of us, that exploded and she ended up going completely psycho on us. She cut up a picture of us, and put her on another sheet of paper surrounded by guns and knives and what not, and put it in my food cupboard. So that was quite disturbing, and she teamed up with the emotional roommate and they did their own thing until they both moved out. Two new girls moved in, and they were both awesome. One of them and I didn't really see eye to eye on most things, but other than that the rest of that year was normal in my book (which is probably different than anyone else's book).
On to sophomore year, I moved into an apartment with 5 other girls. 4 of which knew each other, and then my room roommate. They all seemed really cool, but the 4 stayed very much with themselves for the first couple of months, and my room roommate had some very interesting practices, and I wasn't sure if she was ok. She was very sweet, and a very nice person, but there was something a little off about her. The story is long and detailed, but I end up figuring out that she bats for the other team, after much convincing, my other roommates agree with me, we talk with our Bishop, and so the story goes, but she eventually ends up marrying her "friend", gets kicked out of BYU, and some other stuff. So that was a very interesting experience which I am pretty sure I will never forget. I then became good friends with these other 4 girls and stay in contact with most of them regularly.
I then moved in with some new girls and one of the girls I had lived with the year previous who had become one of my best friends. Well things were ok for a little bit, until she decided that she hated me or something like that. Luckily I had 3 other amazing roommates that I loved that I hung out with and talked to, and basically made that year ok. The girl mentioned previously is now married and we talk on occasion, but I'm still not sure what I did to her. Maybe one day I'll figure it out.
Those are the most interesting stories I've got. I have probably 200 more stories I could write here, but that would be way to long of a blog.
So mostly to end, I want to say how I'm grateful for every single roommate that I've had. Either because of the wonderful friend that they were and still are, or because of the things that I learned by living with them. I am a much stronger, and a much better person today because of the 38 girls that I have lived with in the last 4 years.

10 More Credits...I think I can

So finals are officially over, and instead of partying I am babysitting. But that is ok, I get my nightly fix and then come back home and make sure everything is ok, and that the kids get to bed. What makes me most excited is that I only have 3 more classes until I graduate, less than 4 months, and only 10 credits. Finals this year were a little more stressful than the semesters past, and I'm very glad to be done with some of the classes I was taking. What a wonderful feeling to walk out of your last final, and not even care how you did because guess what, you're done. Life all of the sudden got less stressful, and I was able to just chillax with some friends. I miss being able to just do whatever I want at the end of the day. That hasn't happened for some time and I'm super excited that in 4 months, all I have to worry about is work, and when I go home from work, I don't have to worry about school or work and I can just do what I want...In Rhode Island. Well this is really scatterbrained, but I just had a good lunch with my Grandpa and my cousin at the hospital and now I want to sit and not think. So that is what I'm going to do, and then I'm making some lemon cream cups. Yum, anyone want one?

Life is strange especially how songs relate

I think the human body is amazing, as I am interested in medicine and such the more I learn about it, the more I am absolutely amazed with the complexity of the human body. For instance, last night while playing soccer at FHE I realized that I had developed a stye in my eye. Now for any of you who may have had the unfortunate chance of having one of these, they are not pleasant. And the fact that this one is probably by far the worst I have ever had, so in addition to the fact that my eye was watering uncontrollably, which in turn caused my nose to run, then add in that my hair doesn't go in a ponytail very well, this soccer game was very interesting, however I thoroughly enjoyed it. Well I woke up this morning and basically couldn't see out of my eye, it hurt a lot. Add in the the watering of the eye and the running of the nose, it made for not the most pleasant morning. Especially since I had to take my last test of the semester other than finals. So I wasn't quite ready to take it, but the pain I was in and the discomfort I was in, I decided to just take it. So I enter the testing center, and wouldn't you know the minute I sit down, the running of my nose decides that it is ready for the 200 meter sprint and I didn't have any tissues, so I greatly apologize to the people around me for the uncontrollable sniffing I did. I didn't even look over the test twice, I just went through and got out, and I have no idea how I did, but I couldn't handle it anymore. So I went to work and got a hot washcloth and laid on the the floor with it on my eye. And surprisingly enough it worked rather well, it is only 3.5 hours later and it is feeling much better. Hence again amazing how the human body can heal itself so quickly.
I have always been a big fan of music, I like to play it, sing it, listen to it, whatever. Almost weekly I find another song that I really like and another one that relates to my life. So here are a few of my recent favorites: So Small-Carrie Underwood, Realize-Colbie Caillat, Born to Fly-Sara Evans, Lost-Micheal Buble. Those are the ones that relate to my life at this point in life, maybe not the whole song, but a line or a verse. You should all become familiar with them.
Lastly I have decided it is time. Time to do the things that I am scared most of, but know that I must do in order to get over something or learn what will happen. I think some of you may know what I'm talking about. Doing hard things is good for us.
This post might not make much sense, but I needed to waste some time and so here it is.

My weekend- a Cake and a Haircut

So here are a few pictures of my finished cake as promised.

For the most part I was pretty happy with the way it turned out, unfortunately the quality of my edible paper wasn't the highest, so by the time I picked up my project the corners had started to curl up, kind of disappointing, but oh well, there was nothing I could do about it. So that was a pretty good accomplishment. And even though I won't find out my grade for a week or so, I think overall I couldn't have done that bad. So yay for that.

The other exciting news from the weekend is my haircut. I finally got into the only person I trust to cut my hair other than my mom, and she cut off quite a bit. It is so short that it doesn't even do a ponytail well, which might be problematic, but that is ok because I really like it. I think she did a fantastic job, as usual. So if you want a good haircut, ask me, I'll let you know where to go.

I also finished everything I have due before finals except for one test, that I will most likely be taking tomorrow morning. But after that, I'm home free. Well other than the next week of studying almost 24/7 to take 5 very important tests. But that is all I will have to worry about.

A few side notes--I graduate in exactly 4 months from today, and I'm really excited about it. I am also approximately 93.6% sure that I am moving to Rhode Island this August. YAY!

Rice Crispy Treats and a Cake

For my History of Creativity project this semester I am making a wedding cake for Henry VIII. So I started thinking about this some time ago, and have all of the accessories to the cake ready, and last night I started the actual cake. Now making a three tier wedding cake isn't the easiest job in the world, three layers of cake is a lot. So after talking with some friends and family, I decided to make the bottom layer out of rice crispy treats, and the second layer is going to be a dummy cake, and then the top is going to be a white velvet cake, (I found the recipe online, and it is supposed to be very very good). So last night I made the bottom layer, I used 2.5 bags of marshmallows, and 7/8 of a bag of malt-o-meal crispy rice. I ended up having to make three different batches in order to fill my big round pan twice. Today I have to make the top layer and frost the whole thing. Can you imagine how much frosting that is going to be? But honestly I'm kind of excited, this is going to be a fun experience for me. I get to use a cake carousel to frost it, and it is going to be fun. However I need to get it all done tonight, I have to turn it in tomorrow morning, and I kind of want to have a social life tonight. But anyway, this cake is going to be amazing and I'll post some pictures when I'm done with it.

Decisions and BYU

So I know that I have been on this decision making kick, but it is my life right now, and this will be the last post about decisions for a while, I promise the next one I write will be more thought provoking and whatnot. But I think I have officially decided what I am going to do with my life. (Well hopefully) I am going to be taking a CNA course this summer, but not the originally planned one, I will be traveling to Salt Lake everyday for two weeks to take this class from 5-10 p.m. Definately better than every Saturday all summer. And I am about 90% sure I am going to be moving to Rhode Island come August 20thish. As long as I can find housing, I will be able to find a job, and it should all work out. So that is the plan.

I have been thinking lately about BYU, and the amazing place it really is. There is no place in the world quite like it. There is no place where you meet once a week during the week with a group of other college students and talk about the gospel and then just hang out, like family time. So there might be places that do that, but not really. I was recently talking with a friend of mine from my old ward. He was down for the weekend, and happened to run into my roommate, and then came to talk to me. We had a good discussion on the uniqueness of BYU. And as I am getting ready to leave it, I am only now realizing how lucky I have been to be here for the past four years. To be somewhere where the school paper makes me laugh at least once a day from the things that people write in or the things people do (I am going to miss the police beat). A school that has a number of impressive and awesome rankings in the Princeton Review every year. #3 best college library(which i have happen to proudly work at) #1 stone-cold sober school #1 students pray on a regular basis #1 Got milk

Basically just an amazing school, where religion is brought into the classroom, that definately doesn't happen many other places. A place where people are friendly and kind, and although we still have some crime, our campus is really quite safe, and I usually feel safe walking around at night or early in the morning. A place that has a great athletic program, that has given me hours of entertainment over basically my whole life.

Mostly I'm just really glad that I had the chance to go to and graduate from a very good school. And congratulations to BYU and all of its faculty and students for making it a great place to go to school.

Post College Life

So I seem to have a hard time finding people to just sit and talk with me about the future. As of late, one friend of mine has been amazing at it, but we are both very busy people, and therefore that doesn't leave a lot of time of just sitting and talking about life. So I am going to attempt to put all my thoughts out on my blog, and then if anyone reads this, they can give me their opinion on what I should do with my life.

So first off this summer, I will be talking a few classes and working part time so that I can graduate without any debt. But I'm trying to decide what to add to my summer, I am either going to be taking a CNA course or a Phlebotomy course. Now I've written out the pros and cons, and even made a matrix, and it seems like I am probably going to be doing phlebotomy, but I'm still not sure if that is what I should do.

Whatever I end up doing this summer, will probably effect the job that I get for the next 7 months to a year. This leads me to after graduation. I graduate August 15th and 16th I believe with my BS in Exercise Science. Now as impressive as this may sound, I can't really get a job with this degree, so I am planning on doing some more school. At this point, either Nursing or Exercise Physiology. But I need a little break from school, and I need to earn a little money, so I'm gonna work for a bit.

Now after I graduate from BYU, I can either stay here in Provo, live with some friends and get paid OK for some job and in the mean time apply for grad and nursing schools. Or I can move, now where would I move? Well that is a good question, I have always wanted to live on the East Coast, so that is where I would go. By myself? No, I have a friend in my ward here that is moving back east for grad school, and we have discussed being roommates back there. Now that would be really cool, because it is scary to move away from the BYU bubble and be by yourself. So that would solve that issue. I can find a job just about anywhere, there are always jobs available, and the cities that this friend is looking at all have ample hospitals, where I can use whatever I get this summer to get a job, or I can do some type of research assistant stuff (Working at the library for 2.5 years has helped me in that area). As of lately, my annoyance with people makes me think that it might be a very good idea to move away from Provo for a little while.

So my first decision is about the summer, phlebotomy or cna? My next decision is about after graduation, stay in Utah or move back east? And then my third decision which I haven't really touched on yet is grad school for exercise physiology (which would give me something else to do this summer, take the GRE) or second bachelors in nursing?

I had a dream last night that was crazy, and I don't remember all of it, but in some part of it, I got hit by a car and had my legs crushed. And so as I was deciding what to do with my life, I had to cancel out nursing because my legs didn't work and I was in a wheelchair. Now maybe this was some personal revelation in my head. But what makes me so confused, that is my legs got crushed, my first thought wouldn't be oh no I can't do nursing school. Pretty sure my first thought would be, I can't run or play sports anymore. So that was a side note, but seriously come on.

So exercise physiology or nursing? This is a great question. It was nursing from basically day 1 of my BYU education, but in the past 6 months or so, I am thinking that exercise physiology would give me more options, and would just be basically rockin'. I am in an exercise physiology class right now, and I absolutely love it. It truly fascinates me. But I still don't know.

I think that in short I have now talked a little about all my options and decisions that I have to make within the next couple of weeks. So throw that in with my papers, test, and very soon finals, and hey I've never been more stressed in my life. Which is kind of strange, because I also feel as if I have less people to help me out and talk with than ever before. Just another trial in the journey of my life. I love trials.

Festival of Colors and Bollywood

So I'm exhausted, and yet, I'm on my computer, so I thought since I just downloaded my pictures from the Festival of Colors I will add them. So Saturday night was amazing, it all started with the festival of colors. Imagine thousands of people, thousands of little bags of colored flour, and crazy hare krishna music. The little kid in the picture at the bottom was awesome. Before it all started, his father would give him a handful of color and he would run up to someone and throw it at them. I got hit right in the face with a lovely purple color. Fantastic.

After the festival, I had the opportunity to hang out with some girls in my ward and we watched "Bride and Prejudice", for those who don't know it is the bollywood version of Pride and Prejudice. It was absolutely fantastic, and I highly suggest anyone who hasnt' seen it, to rent it or something and watch it. Bollywood movies are fantastic, I have seen a few in my life, and each and every one of them just makes you smile. My brother introduced me to a great one called, "Lagaan." I might have to rewatch that one sometime soon. Anyway it is always nice to be able and sit with a bunch of girls and just hang out. I haven't been able to do that much since high school, and I forgot how much I missed it. So my new resolve is to try and get all of my friends together for just a hang out night again. We do this on occasion, but it proves to be very difficult to get 7 22 year olds together. But if I'm leaving the state, it is going to happen before then.

I've been tagged

Thanks to my sister, I have been tagged. So here ya go.

My Favorite Color: Ever since I was a little child my favorite color has been pink...ok not. Blue, my color of choice in all things.

My Favorite Animal: Shasta the Liger or my babies. Either of which are quite amazing.

A Bad Habit: Jumping to conclusions. I am really good at that. No matter what the situation, I jump not just to conclusions, but the worst possible conclusion.

Favorite Food: I love food. I love to make food and eat it. Lately I've been on a pretty decent health craze, and vegetables have become my new staple.

Favorite Hobby: In the little amount of spare time I have, I love to play my guitar, play any sports that I can, and cook food for people.

My Favorite Song: Can't honestly say that I have one favorite song, I really enjoy music. So I listen to a very broad range, but the song of the past year has been Crazy by Patsy Cline.

My Favorite Author: All I read right now are text books. So technically I don't have a favorite right now, but I do really enjoy C.S. Lewis, the Bronte Sisters, Jane Austin, etc.

My Favorite Dessert: I love cheesecake, and my newest favorite are my Lemon Strawberry Cream Cups. Yummy.

A Picture of Me: I'm not photogenic, plus I'm at work, so no pictures of me right now.

I'm now tagging Bryan Stiles, Kirsten Clark, and Elise Crane. Because I know you all read this on occasion. Ha.

Somedays

These pictures make me wonder, what exactly is in our water in Salem.

And somedays when I wake up in the morning, this is exactly how I feel. For some people (mainly my roommate) this is what she looks like every morning. And those are the days that I just want to stay home, because let's be honest, someone is gonna make fun of me.

Friendship and Dating

This past week I have had a number of conversations with multiple people about friendships and dating. My most recent conversation was with my good friend Bryan, we had a deep discussion about this way too late at night. However, some of the things that I learned from Bryan, I thought might be interesting to the rest of the world.

First off, flirting. Webster says that to flirt is to show superficial or casual interest or liking. More than once I have heard people say, "I don't even know how to flirt." These are usually the people who are constantly flirting with any member of the opposite sex that moves. I had a roommate like this for two years. Don't get me wrong this girl was an amazing person, but she just couldn't turn it off. Bryan was telling me that he doesn't even know how to flirt, that he never learned, but I'm not gonna lie. I have definitely seen that boy flirt, so it makes me wonder how does one learn to flirt. Flirting is where one person can get another person's attention. So basically what I'm saying is I don't understand flirting.

The biggest concept we talked about was levels of friendship, and falling for those who are good friends. After a group discussion at work about friendship, it has been decided that girls and guys can't pass a certain level of friendship, because after a certain point one or the other will most likely fall for the other one. So the levels of friendship are acquaintances, talking buddies(the ones in your classes where you talk to them but would never hang out with outside of class), friends, good friends, pretty good friends, best friends, then the ultimate level of friendship, marriage. So that magic level is pretty good friends. That level is the beyond good ward friends friend, if that makes any sense. This happens in movies all the time, and usually things in movies aren't real, but I would have to say that this concept is actually true, it does actually happen. By the time that you get to that point of friendship you know the other person really well. And it just so happens that by knowing someone that well, if they are a good person you might just fall for them. So when it gets to that point, what are you supposed to do? This is a concept Bryan and I discussed in some detail. How does one tell a really good friend that they want to be more than really good friends? A simply complex question.

For those of you who have seen Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, the scene where Pete tells Rosalee how he feels, I have heard multiple people suggest to others that that would be the best way to go about the deed. When suggesting that to others, I have always gotten a good response, so perhaps that is the way to do it. And hopefully as long as you are good enough friends, which at this point we have decided that you are, the outcome wouldn't be as bad as you are thinking in your head right now that it would be. My friend told me, if this were to happen to him and he were interested then it would probably be pretty simple, however if he weren't interested he said he would "have to let her know... nicely that he wasn't interested beyond friends and if could be awkward for a while,but I'd probably make efforts to get past that awkwardness and hope she would too." Now as I discussed this with my roommate we decided that that isn't of much comfort. And so after all of this, my original thought about this situation returned, just don't do it. Just wonder your whole life, and hope that one day you will get over it. So that is what I learned from my experiences this past week. Sorry if they don't make as much sense on paper (well internet) than they did in my mind.

It's amazing how many things...

You can come to regret many things. And most of the time we don't think about it. Things happen and we get over them, and move on with our lives, however a few times a year, I take it upon myself to sit and really think about life. This usually leads to me thinking of all the the things that I wish I was doing, or wasn't doing. All the things that I want to do more or less of, and things that have happened that I either wish would or wouldn't have happened, you get the point.
Well as I mentioned at an earlier time, I am graduating in August, and that means I am finishing up my career here at BYU. It has been four short years, they were good though, and there are some regrets that I have that very possibly might have made that made the past four years not as supreme as they could have been.
On a side note, it makes me wonder if things were supposed to happen this way to teach me things. Then I think, no way, divine intervention is supposed to make life better, right? I honestly don't know anymore.
Back to where I was before, my regrets, at least my big ones are:
Not getting enough sleep every single year.
I made a new semester resolution every semester to get to bed earlier and get up earlier. And every semester I did a decent job for about a week and a half or two, and then I fell right back into my late night ways. Very bad thing for a college student. And now I know that even more as I am writing a paper for a class on sleep, and how beneficial it really is, and how what we do during the day can affect our sleep, and I bet the last four years would have been a lot happier in general if i had gotten 8 hours a night.
Not speaking up in class, or using my professors as resources for good.
I like to think that I am generally a pretty smart person, and if you know me at all, you know I can be very opinionated. And I just about always have something to say about everything, but just about every class I have been in, I haven't made more than one comment a semester, if that. It makes me wonder if I would have done a little more active participation in class if my gpa would be a bit higher. Plus now as I am applying for grad schools and nursing schools I need academic references, and I have like one. Big mistake.
Not being more social in my wards.
Don't get me wrong, I go to church, I go to fhe, I go to ward activities, people know who I am. But I haven't made as many really good friends as I could have. And now as I am getting to the point where everyone my "age" is graduating and moving on. So you can start to make good friends and then all the sudden you move on or they move on. That is crappy. We all need good friends to joke around with, who will listen to you, and who you can listen to. I really appreciate friends. I have about 15 years of built up emotion that I need to get out, and that is exactly what friends are good for. And the best kind of friend is someone who thinks along the same lines as you, and who is just a good person. I'm have a friend like this right now. She is one of those people who is a fantastic person. It is just too bad, that we are both graduating. You never know what that means, graduation can lead you just about anywhere.
My last regret is not outing my roommate who broke the honor code.
And everyone probably thinks, I've had a roommate who broke the honor code on one occasion, I'm sure I have even broke it before. Staying a few minutes late in some guy's apartment or something, but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about hard core breaking of the honor code. This girl's actions left me scarred, and I had the worst semester of my life. That is when it all started to go downhill. If I would have pushed my bishop, and talked to the honor code office earlier and gotten things fixed earlier. Life would be different I believe. If I would have made someone do something about it in October when I first had my suspicions, instead of waiting till January.
Well those are my main regrets for the past four years, now that they are out there, let's hope that I can move past them, and move on with my life.

Real Life after Graduation

I officially applied for graduating in August yesterday. After talking to one of the counselors in my college to make sure that I am eligible, two things happened. First, I started freaking out about the fact that I am graduating from college and I have to grow up and be a real person, and second, I thought of all the things I regret of doing or not doing over the past four years (this will be another thought another time).
So let's first discuss my first thought process. For the past 18 years or so, I have been in school. I have worked and what not, but everything has always focused around school. So now school is almost over and what am I supposed to do? Well the answer that everyone gives me is, do more school. And that is exactly what I want to do, but only problem is what do I want to do? i could go to nursing school, I could go to grad school in a number of areas. Which one is right? Well I am going to take the GRE this summer and if I do well enough, I'm hoping that I might be able to get into a decent school. My GPA isn't the best because of my problem with taking tests. I want to get out of Utah, but I don't want to leave. I don't' know what to do, and I really need to decide. People all around me all ready have a plan for their life, they know what they want to do, and they know when they want to do it. What is wrong with me that I have no idea. I've always had interest in many things, and i like to consider myself a fairly intelligent individual, although my grades might not say so. I do know the information and I do retain it. Which is more than I can say for a lot of other people. So I guess in the end, I am thinking grad school, and I'm thinking exercise physiology (it fascinates me). So I have to do really well on the GRE this summer and then pray hard that this is the right thing, and that through some divine intervention I will get into a school I apply to. And that is a whole different issue, which schools do I apply to? Being a real person is stressful.

Laziness at work

So recently I have been thinking about my job. I have worked here for over two years now, and have been awarded for my hard work a few times. But I was thinking today as I am trying to get someone to work for me, that I have taken classes for just about every person I have worked with when they have something come up. I understand that that happens, and I usually feel bad that no one else will take the class for them, so I take it. My boss even knows that if a class gets added late and he needs someone to work it, if I'm available, he calls me and of course I take it, because I always take it. I'm trustworthy and hard working, so pass the buck to Amy, she will take care of it. But as I struggle maybe once every two months or so to find someone to take one of my classes because something comes up, it makes me wonder why? Why won't anyone else take my class when I am always so willing to take theirs? Is it selfishness? Is it laziness? Is is just plain rudeness? I don't know, but it surely bothers me. Unfortunately it is just another unfair thing in my life that there is nothing I can do anything about.

Taxes

I actually thoroughly enjoy getting my taxes back. It is nice to get at least a little bit of the money back that the government takes. Maybe if I move somewhere else, the government won't be so up for taking my money without my permission. I will have to look into that.

Valentine's Day

So yesterday was Valentine's Day, and for probably the first time in my life I actaully had someone to spend it with. And it was really fun. I think if Valentine's Day were less focused on candy and flowers, and more on just spending time with those you love and care for, it would be a much better holiday and a lot less junk food would be eaten on it. Anyway, I learned this year that Valentine's Day can be fun, and it should be. That is the lesson of the day.

NIU Shooting

I really can't believe that so many shootings happen. Within the last year there has been at least 2 school shootings, and the one at trolley square. I don't understand what posseses these guys to just go and shoot people they don't even know. I'm wondering if there is research out there on these types of things.
Everytime I hear of a campus shooting, it not only makes me feel deeply sad for the students and families of that school, but it scares me. What if some wacko sees this happen, and decides he/she should do the same thing here at my school. That is frightening.
I was also wondering why all the shootings are always committed by males? I know that they are more aggressive and whatnot, but is it something about the male gender that makes them want to stop taking their meds, or to take revenge on someone?
Northern Illinois University, we are all deeply sorry and we hope that you will all recover from this.