Thursday, May 29, 2008
Once again, I have no idea
So I'm back to almost square one when it comes to what I'm doing after graduation. I have applied for a few jobs, and am still waiting to hear back from almost all of them. I did apply to be a 911 dispatcher, but I couldn't make the testing time, so that one is off of the list for right now. Mostly I just need a full time job with benefits, at this point, I don't even care what it is, I just need to find one so I can find housing. This is my current dilemma, and I'm quite stressed about it. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to give them to me. Argh.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
My cool roommates
(Emily, Lisa, Heather, Amy, Melanie, Melissa)This is a short shout out to my cool roommates this spring. I was thinking how I've had some super crazy roommates over the years, and I am very lucky to have such cool roommates right now. They are all very unique, and I'm glad I get the chance to live with them all...even if they think I'm crazy.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Releasing
I've known and lived with a lot of people over the years, and I've learned that we all have different ways of releasing pent up emotion, feelings, frustrations, whatever. Now this may seem like a random topic, but it all came about last night. After a terribly played on my part, game of softball, I was awfully frustrated, and for those who actually know anything about me, you might know that I am not the most expressive person when it comes to feelings. So since I've been frustrated about many things in the past month or so, this crappy game was the ice breaker. So I went out for a hard run, and felt semi better when I got back. And I brewed over it all day, and still haven't fully expressed my frustration. Then there is my roommate, who also played last night, and didn't have the best game either, she went outside for a little personal reflection, came back inside and was fine afterwards.
Now I know that it is possible that I have a bit more pent up frustrations and what not than her right now, but that is another point. What I'm getting at here is the different ways people release anger, frustration, pain, etc. And when I say people, I am mostly referring to people of the female gender. We as females, tend to express emotion a lot more than our male counterpart, which is normal. Women are more sensitive and whatnot. Anyway, there are so many ways that we release pent up emotions.
I have had friends who just escape from it all, just run away from it, and then ignore it. I've had friends who just need to cry all by themselves for a little while and then they are ok, there are the ones that need to cry on some one's shoulder and need to be validated. There are those as I said before who just don't deal with it, pretend it didn't' happen and store it somewhere inside of them. There are those that need a little time to just think things through and then they are ok. Those who just need to get angry at someone, yell a little than get over it. Those who need to go and get anger out in someway.
Those are just the first few that came to my head, but I really find it interesting how different we all are, and how we express things, and release things in such different ways. The hard part is initially figuring out what that way is for each person, and/or letting others figure out that information about you. Some people, including me, have a hard time letting others really get to know them, but that is another blog in itself, so maybe that will be my next one.
Now I know that it is possible that I have a bit more pent up frustrations and what not than her right now, but that is another point. What I'm getting at here is the different ways people release anger, frustration, pain, etc. And when I say people, I am mostly referring to people of the female gender. We as females, tend to express emotion a lot more than our male counterpart, which is normal. Women are more sensitive and whatnot. Anyway, there are so many ways that we release pent up emotions.
I have had friends who just escape from it all, just run away from it, and then ignore it. I've had friends who just need to cry all by themselves for a little while and then they are ok, there are the ones that need to cry on some one's shoulder and need to be validated. There are those as I said before who just don't deal with it, pretend it didn't' happen and store it somewhere inside of them. There are those that need a little time to just think things through and then they are ok. Those who just need to get angry at someone, yell a little than get over it. Those who need to go and get anger out in someway.
Those are just the first few that came to my head, but I really find it interesting how different we all are, and how we express things, and release things in such different ways. The hard part is initially figuring out what that way is for each person, and/or letting others figure out that information about you. Some people, including me, have a hard time letting others really get to know them, but that is another blog in itself, so maybe that will be my next one.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Needing something...
It has been some time since my last post, and as I was finishing up my cleaning check tonight I realized it was time to write again. I'm not exactly sure what to write, but I need to write so we will see what comes out.
The age I'm at gives me a lot of me time, I'm going to school, and working. But I work by myself many days, and I don't have a lot of homework, this has made me realize that although I have some problems and some major stresses in my life, doesn't mean that I need to forget about all the little things that I have.
I at times feel alone, I work by myself, my roommates are all very busy people, my friends are flaky and busy people, and I've never had the type of relationship with my family that I wish that I did (but i'm working on it). But when I really sit down and think about it, I have amazing people all around me. And whenever I really need someone, someone comes through. This is a reoccurring testimony builder for me that my Heavenly Father loves me, and that he knows me and is looking out for me. This is a comforting thought in my many alone hours every day.
I need to work on putting myself out there. I've never been the one to start the party all by myself (if that makes any sense). I sit while others are talking and just listen, I don't put in my two cents, all the thoughts that race through my head. All of the comebacks, or comments that come into my head normally just stay there. I think I need to work on saying what I'm thinking. No matter what the situation. I'm gonna work on that.
Today at work, I had about an hour before I had to TA a class, and I had some work that I needed to do. Therefore, I needed the few stragglers from the class before hand to leave the room. I had already warned them twice that I needed to close the room up, and I had let them stay an extra 20 minutes. And it isn't as if they were working on anything, a few students were in the back of the room talking to one professor, while another professor sat at a computer in the back checking his email. So I finally got the nerve to ask them to leave. This guy sitting at the computer then proceeds to get really upset with me, he said that by not letting people into the instruction rooms at times when they weren't being used for classes was a complete waste, he said that I had no right to kick them out, and a whole heck of a lot more. And he definitely wasn't nice about it. It was one of those situations that makes you feel uncomfortable and just plain sick to your stomach (I'm sure most of you have felt this way at least once). I really didn't know what to do about the situation, and now I was having a terrible day, so I just nicely repeated that I needed to close the room. As he walked out of the room, I heard him say some jerky comment under his breath.
Now this made me think, who is this guy, and why would a professor at BYU get upset with a student employee for them doing their job. This guy was a royal jerk, and I want to thank him publicly for making my day so wonderful. It makes me wonder who his mother is, and why she didn't send him to his room a little more often.
So those thoughts are not at all connected, but most things in my mind aren't. ADD or something, who knows. That is what I'm thinking about tonight though. And yet I'm still needing something...
The age I'm at gives me a lot of me time, I'm going to school, and working. But I work by myself many days, and I don't have a lot of homework, this has made me realize that although I have some problems and some major stresses in my life, doesn't mean that I need to forget about all the little things that I have.
I at times feel alone, I work by myself, my roommates are all very busy people, my friends are flaky and busy people, and I've never had the type of relationship with my family that I wish that I did (but i'm working on it). But when I really sit down and think about it, I have amazing people all around me. And whenever I really need someone, someone comes through. This is a reoccurring testimony builder for me that my Heavenly Father loves me, and that he knows me and is looking out for me. This is a comforting thought in my many alone hours every day.
I need to work on putting myself out there. I've never been the one to start the party all by myself (if that makes any sense). I sit while others are talking and just listen, I don't put in my two cents, all the thoughts that race through my head. All of the comebacks, or comments that come into my head normally just stay there. I think I need to work on saying what I'm thinking. No matter what the situation. I'm gonna work on that.
Today at work, I had about an hour before I had to TA a class, and I had some work that I needed to do. Therefore, I needed the few stragglers from the class before hand to leave the room. I had already warned them twice that I needed to close the room up, and I had let them stay an extra 20 minutes. And it isn't as if they were working on anything, a few students were in the back of the room talking to one professor, while another professor sat at a computer in the back checking his email. So I finally got the nerve to ask them to leave. This guy sitting at the computer then proceeds to get really upset with me, he said that by not letting people into the instruction rooms at times when they weren't being used for classes was a complete waste, he said that I had no right to kick them out, and a whole heck of a lot more. And he definitely wasn't nice about it. It was one of those situations that makes you feel uncomfortable and just plain sick to your stomach (I'm sure most of you have felt this way at least once). I really didn't know what to do about the situation, and now I was having a terrible day, so I just nicely repeated that I needed to close the room. As he walked out of the room, I heard him say some jerky comment under his breath.
Now this made me think, who is this guy, and why would a professor at BYU get upset with a student employee for them doing their job. This guy was a royal jerk, and I want to thank him publicly for making my day so wonderful. It makes me wonder who his mother is, and why she didn't send him to his room a little more often.
So those thoughts are not at all connected, but most things in my mind aren't. ADD or something, who knows. That is what I'm thinking about tonight though. And yet I'm still needing something...
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Roommates over the years
As I was walking home last week after a conversation with a friend about roommates, I decided to count and see just how many roommates I've had since I moved away from home 4 years ago, and that lead me to thinking about things that have had. So that is what this blog is going to be dedicated to in short. So first off, just how many roommates have I had. Freshman year-8, Sophomore year-9, Junior year-11, Senior year-10 Total=38 That is a lot of girls that I have lived with. And for the most part I loved all of them, and had wonderful experiences and gained amazing friends. However, I definitely lived with a few interesting people, and they are who I want to talk about.
Let's start with freshman year, it started out very normal, and I really liked all 5 of my roommates. A few weeks into the semester however, my roommate developed some severe homesickness and it made her a little crazy, and very emotional, that always makes for a very interesting time. She was a very nice person, but she got offended by everything and I am positive that her family thought I was the devil. Anyway, with about two weeks left in my first semester, another one of my roommates, who was way cool up to this point, got in a little tussle with one of us, that exploded and she ended up going completely psycho on us. She cut up a picture of us, and put her on another sheet of paper surrounded by guns and knives and what not, and put it in my food cupboard. So that was quite disturbing, and she teamed up with the emotional roommate and they did their own thing until they both moved out. Two new girls moved in, and they were both awesome. One of them and I didn't really see eye to eye on most things, but other than that the rest of that year was normal in my book (which is probably different than anyone else's book).
On to sophomore year, I moved into an apartment with 5 other girls. 4 of which knew each other, and then my room roommate. They all seemed really cool, but the 4 stayed very much with themselves for the first couple of months, and my room roommate had some very interesting practices, and I wasn't sure if she was ok. She was very sweet, and a very nice person, but there was something a little off about her. The story is long and detailed, but I end up figuring out that she bats for the other team, after much convincing, my other roommates agree with me, we talk with our Bishop, and so the story goes, but she eventually ends up marrying her "friend", gets kicked out of BYU, and some other stuff. So that was a very interesting experience which I am pretty sure I will never forget. I then became good friends with these other 4 girls and stay in contact with most of them regularly.
I then moved in with some new girls and one of the girls I had lived with the year previous who had become one of my best friends. Well things were ok for a little bit, until she decided that she hated me or something like that. Luckily I had 3 other amazing roommates that I loved that I hung out with and talked to, and basically made that year ok. The girl mentioned previously is now married and we talk on occasion, but I'm still not sure what I did to her. Maybe one day I'll figure it out.
Those are the most interesting stories I've got. I have probably 200 more stories I could write here, but that would be way to long of a blog.
So mostly to end, I want to say how I'm grateful for every single roommate that I've had. Either because of the wonderful friend that they were and still are, or because of the things that I learned by living with them. I am a much stronger, and a much better person today because of the 38 girls that I have lived with in the last 4 years.
Let's start with freshman year, it started out very normal, and I really liked all 5 of my roommates. A few weeks into the semester however, my roommate developed some severe homesickness and it made her a little crazy, and very emotional, that always makes for a very interesting time. She was a very nice person, but she got offended by everything and I am positive that her family thought I was the devil. Anyway, with about two weeks left in my first semester, another one of my roommates, who was way cool up to this point, got in a little tussle with one of us, that exploded and she ended up going completely psycho on us. She cut up a picture of us, and put her on another sheet of paper surrounded by guns and knives and what not, and put it in my food cupboard. So that was quite disturbing, and she teamed up with the emotional roommate and they did their own thing until they both moved out. Two new girls moved in, and they were both awesome. One of them and I didn't really see eye to eye on most things, but other than that the rest of that year was normal in my book (which is probably different than anyone else's book).
On to sophomore year, I moved into an apartment with 5 other girls. 4 of which knew each other, and then my room roommate. They all seemed really cool, but the 4 stayed very much with themselves for the first couple of months, and my room roommate had some very interesting practices, and I wasn't sure if she was ok. She was very sweet, and a very nice person, but there was something a little off about her. The story is long and detailed, but I end up figuring out that she bats for the other team, after much convincing, my other roommates agree with me, we talk with our Bishop, and so the story goes, but she eventually ends up marrying her "friend", gets kicked out of BYU, and some other stuff. So that was a very interesting experience which I am pretty sure I will never forget. I then became good friends with these other 4 girls and stay in contact with most of them regularly.
I then moved in with some new girls and one of the girls I had lived with the year previous who had become one of my best friends. Well things were ok for a little bit, until she decided that she hated me or something like that. Luckily I had 3 other amazing roommates that I loved that I hung out with and talked to, and basically made that year ok. The girl mentioned previously is now married and we talk on occasion, but I'm still not sure what I did to her. Maybe one day I'll figure it out.
Those are the most interesting stories I've got. I have probably 200 more stories I could write here, but that would be way to long of a blog.
So mostly to end, I want to say how I'm grateful for every single roommate that I've had. Either because of the wonderful friend that they were and still are, or because of the things that I learned by living with them. I am a much stronger, and a much better person today because of the 38 girls that I have lived with in the last 4 years.
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